Criminal Minds Fanfic

by spinner

All I Want for Christmas is You

“Spencer, I don’t want to alarm you,” Will drawled, putting down one bottle of perfume and picking up another.  “But if that witch at the counter doesn’t stop staring at us, I’m going to have to say something ungentlemanly to her.”

“Don’t let her bother you,” Reid suggested to Will.  He shifted Jack’s weight to his other hip in order to cast a cautious look in the direction of the counter.   The clerk was ringing up the purchases of a customer who would not stop staring angrily at Reid and Will and their two small charges.  Reid tried to ignore her.  Will held the sleeping Henry in one arm, and picked up another bottle with his free hand to sniff at it.   Jack was fingering Reid’s hair, one arm linked around his neck tightly.   

Mariah Carey was crooning over the sound system.  Reid had heard her sing this song, in part or in whole, exactly fifty-seven times in the last couple of weeks.   She had a beautiful, dulcet voice, but he might actually go completely insane if he had to hear this song again.  He felt himself begin to sway and bounce unconsciously to the beat.  His jerky body movements were making Jack smile. 

“I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know.  Make my wish come true….” Spencer whispered/sang.  Jack was smiling sideways at him, not sure what to make of him acting this way. 

Perhaps Spencer should perform this for Hotch when they were alone tonight.  He certainly knew the words by heart at this point.  Reid chuckled softly at the mental image of himself in a red Santa hat, and tiny black boots, and not much else.  He could picture Hotch laid out on the bed, holding a twig of mistletoe and wearing a big grin.   Medically-enforced abstinence was driving them both crazy.   He shook his head and cleared his thoughts. 

“What about this one?” Will asked.  He let Spencer sniff the bottle, and Reid wrinkled his nose.   Jack leaned in for a good sniff too.    

“That’s disgusting,” Jack frowned. 

“I couldn’t agree more,” the woman at the counter said loudly enough that she was sure she was heard.  

“Bitch,” Will murmured low and deep, glaring in her direction.   “Thanks for helping me, by the way,” Will added brightly, turning back to Reid.

“You’re welcome,” Reid whispered. 

“I always get JJ a bottle of perfume as a stocking stuffer, but the problem is, I can’t remember which ones I have gotten for her.  Hell, all these prissy bottles look the same after a while.   I’d hate to get her one she doesn’t like, and I thought to myself, I know just who to ask about this—the brains of the operation.”

“It’s hard to choose between them,” Reid replied with a small laugh. 

“She is staring again,” Will frowned. 

“I believe she thinks we’re a couple,” Reid whispered. 

“Oh Lord,” Will sighed.  “So that’s what’s going through that tiny little brain of hers.  I should reach over and give you a big wet one, and watch her faint dead right there.”

“Ignore her,” Reid suggested. 

“Which would be so much easier if she wasn’t glaring at us like that.  She’s gonna scare Baby Henry, making that face,” he added, motioning to his son. 

Reid smiled again and turned his back to the affronted customer. 

“If I could make a face that scary, I could trick-or-treat all year,” LaMontagne added with a huff of annoyance.  Spencer snickered and hated himself for it.  Jack watched him carefully. 

“Is she wearing a mask?” Jack asked, craning his head to stare back.  Reid tisked at him, making him stop.  

“Do you and Hotch get this a lot when you go out together?” Will asked.

“Most people don’t give us a second glance, but we’re usually careful about, you know, PDA, body space, gestures, and eye contact.  Every now and then, someone will guess the truth, but honestly, the best response is no response.”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

“Getting mad at her will not fix the situation, and it will not change her mind.”  

“It doesn’t bother you, but I bet it bothers Hotch,” Will said.   

“Hotch has a shorter fuse.  He has a tendency to over-react when he’s angry.  I avoid reacting when I am angry, so I will not to exacerbate his temper.  If I remain calm, he often will too.  I pretend it doesn’t bother me, and he pretends it doesn’t bother him.  It’s our private game.”

“I wish I had your kind of self control,” Will shook his head.

“If it’s any consolation, inside my mind, I’m mooning her for all I’m worth,” Spencer teased out the words slowly, glad to see the grimness melt away from Will’s pleasant face.

“Thanks,” Will smirked.   “I might do it for real if she keeps up.”

“You have given JJ this one and these two.  This one for Valentine’s Day as well.  She has worn this one quite a bit, so it must be the one she likes the best.  This one, I believe she must like very much as well.   It must be associated with a very good memory.  When she wears this one, she will sit at her desk and sniff her wrist and smile to herself, lost in thought.”

Will picked up the bottle and gave it a sniff.   A boyish chuckle lit up his face.    “New Year’s Eve last year,” he purred. “We went dancing, we had dinner, we went out on the Potomac on one of those boat cruises.  Then we got a hotel room in the city over night.  She’s got an almost full bottle of this though.”

“This one, she wore once, and it made the inside of her wrist red, so I would have to speculate that she is allergic to one of the ingredients.”

“You are really good at this.   Okay.   I should not  buy that one again,” Will agreed.   He turned around and slid Henry into his stroller, buckling him in and ruffling his hair.  

Jack climbed down out of Reid’s arms and held onto one of his hands instead.  He turned around and tugged on Spencer’s sleeve.

“Why is does she keep making that face?” Jack wanted to know, pointing at the woman at the counter.  Spencer reached out and took Jack’s hand, bending down to whisper to him.

“It’s not polite to point and stare.”

“She’s staring at us,” Jack answered. 

“That’s because she has bad manners,” Reid said.  “You will not stare, or point, because you have good manners.”

“I have very good manners,” Jack defended as Reid stood back up.  The little Hotchner spun the other way, screamed wildly, and took off running.  Reid spun to catch Jack and nearly killed himself colliding with a mirrored column in the middle of the store.  Will snickered, and steadied Reid with one hand.   

“JJ is right.  You are helpless,” Will mused. 

“DADDY!” Jack screamed. 

Hotch approached slowly, dragging a bag from the toy store.  He had insisted on leaving his crutches at home.  He was stubborn, and he was determined to make it the whole day without them.   Two hours on his feet, and he was hobbling in pain, but he was doing it proudly.  Reid was giving him an ‘I told you so!’ glance, which Hotch chose to ignore.

When Jack shouted, Henry woke up, made a face, and started to snivel.  Will knelt down and patted him on the head. 

“What did you get me?” Jack asked, attempting to examine the bag very closely. 

Hotch gave him a loving look.  “Nothing,” he lied.  Jack wasn’t fooled.  He held his father’s hand and fell in step with him as they returned to the perfume store.

“What happened to you?” Hotch asked, rubbing the middle of Reid’s forehead for him.  

“It’s a long story,” Reid sighed.

“He was viciously attacked by an inanimate object,” Will replied as he stood up from tending Henry.   He moved closer to Hotch and murmured to him.  Hotch gave a sideways smile and cast an eye towards the counter.  Hotch gave the toys to Jack with the order, “Do not open the bag.”  Hotch then slid his right arm around Reid’s waist and tugged him close. 

Will carried two bottles of perfume and pushed Henry’s stroller in the direction of the counter.  He brought Jack along as well.   As they approached, the customer who had been staring so hard at Will and Reid together was frowning tightly at him.   Then she turned her medusa gaze at Hotch and Reid.   

Hotch stared at the rude woman to make sure she was watching as he gently backed Reid into the column that had almost killed him.  The customer gasped out and covered her mouth.   Will glanced back.  Hotch was snogging the living daylights out of Reid behind the column.  Only their shoulders were visible, and one of Reid’s slender hands, which was braced against the column for support.   Reid moaned huskily.  Hotch’s fingers rounded the column, sought Reid’s hand, curled around his fingers, held them tight.

Will was beginning to blush and smirk.  So much for no public displays of affection.  He turned Jack around to face front so he would stop watching them.  The clerk totaling his purchases was biting her cheek to keep from smiling.   She gave Will two candy canes.  Will gave one to Jack and one to Henry.  Jack was sufficiently distracted.  Henry couldn't care less.  Reid groaned again, and the annoyed customer huffed loudly.  She snatched up her bags and hurried away.

“I’m sorry she was being rude,” the clerk whispered to Will.   

“Not at all, ma’am,” Will drawled. 

“For your wife?”

“If I’m lucky, someday she will be,” Will grinned.  “We’re pretty serious,” he added, indicating Henry.  “I haven’t…you know….asked the big question.   I get nervous when I think about doing it.  There I am, down on one knee.  Everybody watching.  What if she says no?”

“Engagement rings make terrific stocking-stuffers,” the clerk told him.    “Make it a private affair.  No pressure.  Just you and her naked before a roaring fire, a bottle of Moët on the side, mistletoe above.  Put the ring in the toe of her stocking, and put the perfume on top.  She picks up the stocking, and sees the perfume, but she feels the box in the toe.  That's what my husband did last year.  It was so romantic.  I screamed.  I cried.  I said yes, obviously,” she ended, flashing him a glimpse of the rock on her hand.  

“I wish it was that easy for everyone,” Will said wistfully, casting another glance back at Hotch and Reid behind the mirrored column.  

"I think they'll manage," the clerk smiled.   

"You're right.  They just might," Will snickered. 

“Let’s go next door.  They have dressing rooms,” Hotch rumbled.   Whatever Aaron was doing now was making Reid squeak like a randy hamster.   Luckily Mariah was reaching another brilliant crescendo.

"Make my wish come true.   Baby, all I want for Christmas is you..."  

more to come

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